Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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