NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
