Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
