She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
