when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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