found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
