I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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