first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
