He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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