She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
