He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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