didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
