omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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