moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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