you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
