my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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