My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize