the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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