Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
