Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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