Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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