This is not my ceiling
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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