hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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