I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
