you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
