I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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