there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
