i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
