Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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