butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
