wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
