another moral hangover. fuck.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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