i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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