Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize