does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
