Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
