I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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