do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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