Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
