is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
