I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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