Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
