Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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