So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You ruined the universe
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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