We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can I color on your dick again?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
