I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
