i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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