He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
