You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
