apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You pole danced in your parka.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
