my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
