I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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