I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
