My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
