I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
