I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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