Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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