The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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