I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
