I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
